3 years old today !!!!!

Happy Happy birthday my precious little boy !!! we love you more than words could ever say !!!!

Almost ..... just a few more days !!

Hello my precious little almost 3 YEAR OLD J

Wow, how time flies, the last three years have without a doubt been a heck of a roller coaster ride – but mostly a gracious and wonderful blessing from our heavenly father.

When I was just 20 weeks pregnant with you we found out that you had Trisomy 18, something we had never heard of. This would mean that you have an extra 18^th chromosome in each and every single cell of your little body. I remember so clearly, we were in Woolworths and I received a call from our doctor and he told us that you would probably abort yourself and if you were born you would never live long than a few hours and would be completely disfigured and disabled and my response to him was, -  this little boy is my son, my flesh and blood.  How could I abort him, it is not my decision but the decision of our little boy and our father above.

There was no need to think, the answer was an outright no. This little fetus inside of me was a life, regardless of the diagnoses. Daddy and I did our research and found lots of negative things and sad stories, but we also found a lot of success stories too. As we researched, you grew and grew. Even though you were still in my tummy, as a family we nurtured you. The girls would talk to you and put their hand on my tummy so you could feel their warmth and love. Daddy made recordings of all of us talking to you and everyday he would put earphones around my tummy and play these messages to you over and over again.

We put our faith in God, along with lots of hope and prayers, and decided that should you be born we would leave it up to you and God to decide for how long. We also decided that we would do comfort care and smother you with love. We knew our decision would test our belief, faith, values, our minds and most of all our hearts. On 29, April 2010 you were born and your condition was below that fine red line. It was the hardest decision that we had to make but we stuck to our choice of comfort care and it was a hard and emotional first few days, with lots of prayers, a wonderful and supportive neonatal team and very little medical intervention – just pure unconditional love. You pulled through and proved us all wrong. You fought and chose to live and continue to fight and choose to live

Yes, it’s been hard, yes it’s been emotional and we all have our emotional moments and boy they get bad and tough. But know we don’t regret our decision, when you smile at us or hold our hand, hold your rattle and hit your toys with as much force as you can muster up, or push yourself just that one step in your walking ring or give us a little laugh, these little things that most parents take for granted, make it all the more worthwhile.

You have such a pureness about you that we all strive to obtain some or other time in our lives

Look at you now, in a few days you will be three years old ...... who would have ever thought.

I still would .........

Hello my gorgeous little pumpkin

I just love waking up to your morning smiles, which was quite a surprise on this particular morning. The night before you were a little bit on the mizzy side, nothing serious but then at about 9 in the evening you just decided it was time to cry.

It was so heartbreaking because you could hear that you were in pain and we just couldnt figure it out. The pain meds took about an hour to set in and in the hour that it took to work, mommy had to give you some oxygen. Well you were not impressed about that at all, but we had to do what we had to do. Fortunately it settled you and all was good.

The other part of this all, like your sister said, such a beautiful moment in such a sad moment .... you see my sweetheart, you have never cried tears, and at this point in time your tears were falling ...... and it broke my heart to no end :-( but made my heart happy that you actually do have tears ...... I know it sounds so strange for some people but for us it is pretty much another little miracle ......... little for others but big for us :-)

Other than that, the next morning you woke up all happy and playful, no vomitting, no crying ..... just my normal happy little boy and still my normal happy little boy. But in any event daddy is taking you to the doctor today for a check up, just in case. We are battling with constipation again so maybe its a good thing.

Still loving all the attention from your sisters - one really loved little boy !!!

Tannyth was away for a few days so the
two of you have been playing catch up and by
the looks of things having such a lot of fun .....
typical teenagers with all the photos,
but I definately dont see you
complaining

Tia and Diana also take every opportunity they can get to take photos with you, and I am glad. Building memories is just so important
 

 Heck you are even playing twister with them ..... just too precious for words.

On another note, mommy was going through facebook earlier today and I came across a poem that was written, I am not sure by who but this poem just says it all, and this is how it goes.

"If before you were born, I could have gone to heaven and saw all the beautiful souls I still would have chosen you

If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs"

I still would have chosen you

If He would have told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed"

I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith"

I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river"

I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering"

I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change"

I still would have chosen you

Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you"

So yes my sweetest of angel pie's I still would have chosen you !!!!

Love you ever so much my baby boy !!!!