Oh my pumpkin, after mommies last little letter to you I got home and you were all smiles and talking away. Eventually you were tired and had a sleep and not long after I put you down in your cot you started crying and I couldnt get you to stop, daddy tried and he couldnt either. At one point I asked daddy if he could hear your airways swelling and closing off and before I knew it I could see it coming. I ran straight for front door to unlock the security gate and then the main gates. I fumbled with the keys and just really battled to get everything open in my state of panic. My legs were so heavy and felt like they wouldnt carry me., all the while I could hear daddy shouting your name and then shouting for the girls and the more I could hear the heavier my legs became. When I got back inside you had already stopped breathing, your little body was so limp and so blue. We took you and ran for the car, by the time we got to the front door you took a breath, just one, and then a few seconds later another and then another. Very laboured and rough breathing. We got you to the ER and they gave you oxygen to bring your colour back and the doctor on call decided to massage your precious little heart - of which you wanted none of - cause then you started crying again - which was a music to my ears !!!
We spent the next four days in hospital, with a little blue spell here and there but the minute we noticed we gave you oxygen and you settled very quickly. The doctors are not sure why this happened and I guess we will never really know. One paed says its just one of those life threatning incidents and another says it could have been the start of croup - the xrays showed your lungs to be clear.
We finally made it home on Monday and you yourself were so happy to be home. I put you in your walking ring and for the first time you were happy to stay in there and play for a little over an hour. You have had a few good days since.
Mommy got home from work yesterday and you were sleeping. When your sister wanted to bath you yesterday afternoon, you began having a seizure, a mild one. Tan called for daddy and they got you semi settled, but as soon as it stopped another one started and not such a great one at that. It drained you so much, you didnt even budge when I got home, let alone bat an eye lid when daddy spoke - and when you normally hear daddy's voice you go wild. We decided to let you sleep so your little body could get some rest. Eventually you woke up at about 9 or so and decided it was time to play. Yes it amazes me, after all your little body has been through, you still have the energy to play and cuddle.
I took you to the lounge and a few minutes later the lights were out - no electricity whatsoever. I must say it was actually quite nice sitting in the dark. the house was quiet and you were in awe of the lead lights from the lamp. Daddy was making shapes on the ceiling and you couldnt move your eyes away - it really was a special moment for me. We had some cuddle time and then you went to sleep and didnt really have a bad night after that.
I am thankful for every day that we have with you my precious. I am thankful that I get to see the gleem in your gorgeous little eyes. I am thankful for your smile and your little giggles every now and then. I am thankful that you try so hard to stand. I am thankful to be able see you get frustrated when you try and get your finger in your mouth. I am thankful that I can feel your skin against mine. I am thankful that I can see your daddy and your sisters cuddle you and shower you with love. I am thankful that I can hear you cry. I am thankful that at times you can feel my tears. I am thankful that I am able to put little socks and shoes and your tiny little feet. I am thankful that you can reach out and touch my face. I am thankful that you can wrap your tiny little hand around my finger. I am grateful that at times you will look directly into my eyes . I am thankful that I can breath your scent in and most of all I am thankful that God gave you to us and made you as special as you are.
Love you sweet pea !!
No comments:
Post a Comment