No need for me to tell you just how much we all miss you - I know you are watching over us and see all the sadness and heart break and then the comforting moments cherishing all the memories we got to make with you, and just having your beautiful face all around us.
Your garden is blooming at such a speed and is looking absolutely beautiful, all the roses are in full bloom and it smells absolutely wonderful. Although we still have a lot of work to do, it is exactly what we wanted. With all the wind that we are having at the moment we are continuously hearing the wind chime in your garden, which sounds just like your favourite giraffe rattle you always played with - both comforting but also very heart breaking to hear. You know sweetpea, I have also attached your giraffe rattle ( the new one you got for your birthday) to my rear view mirror of my car, so that I can hear the chimes whenever I am driving. Daddy thought it may get too much for me, but it has really been a saving grace for me.
The last week has been incredibly difficult for me, many times now I find myself crying and wondering how you are. I know that you are with God and I know that you are whole and looking down on us, but somehow I just need to know, just need to see that you are okay.
My longing for you has been so incredibly intense that I just don't know what to do with myself but cry. I cry when I wake up, I cry when I lay in the bath, I cry on my way to work, at work, on my way home from work ...... I just cry. I feel like I am losing total grip on reality and the strength that I have been holding on to. The sadness has been completely overwhelming.
I know I should be celebrating your life, and I do ..... but I am totally heartbroken. Daddy and your sisters also miss you terribly, A lot of the time I see them just staring into nothingness and I know they are thinking of you.
As I sit here at work today - my tears are flowing even more, out of sadness but also out of comfort, that we were able to help someone in need. You see baby boo, before God came to take you, we had ordered more feeding tubes for you which we did not get to use. Daddy and I donated these tubes to an organization called Rare Diseases South Africa - and these tubes went to a beautiful little four year old boy by the name of Jaydon. There was no guarantee that Jaydon would get these tubes, and I know that there are so many children that need help, but deep within my heart I was hoping that precious little Jaydon would receive them and today we got confirmation that he did. This my sweet angel pie is one more step in keeping your beautiful legacy alive and it makes me proud that we can do this on your behalf.
Love you and miss you so so much
All my love and kisses