I miss you so so much my angel - sometimes I feel like my heart is just being ripped right out of my chest.
Its been 20 months since the worst day of my life and still it feels like yesterday. Daddy and I decided that we needed to try and take a step forward and so we decided that it was time to dismantle your cot. It was horrible and painful - it felt like we were saying goodbye all over again.
I walk into my bedroom now and it feels so bare and so empty without your cot there. I don't think I will ever get used to it. Seems so much harder to sleep at night now, knowing I cant just reach over and touch it.
The hardest part is I don't actually know how to deal with what I am feeling, its like the anger has set in and I just want smash everything in front of me - its as though I am a ticking time bomb.
Why - why - why
There is a huge gaping hole in my heart and in my life which will never be filled again.
Miss you and love you so much binky bumbs -